Lecture #1

     When I signed up for this course, I had expected to discuss erotic and romantic love as the title of the course is "Love and Desire".  Therefore, it had never really occurred to me and I did not expect to discuss the topic of friendship and how it ties into love.  When you think about it in depth, friendship is a type of love that is just as important as erotic and romantic love, even though it is less touched upon.  I'm sorry, I do not remember the lecturer's name, but the professor who gave us her opinions on love and friendship mentioned that Aristotle said that "friendship is most important to life".  This particular quote stuck out to me because it ties into some of the material that we have discussed in class.  The very first class we had in the beginning in September, we watched an episode of Sex and the City.  Sex and the City was a popular show in the late 1990's and early 2000's.  The show follows four adult women who live in New York City, and it shows how they del with love, sex and friendship.  While sex and love play a big role in that show, it is really friendship that makes that show so popular among young women.  Friendship is just as important if not more important for humans to have than romantic love.  When girls break up with their boyfriend that they were in love with and they're heartbroken, it is always their friends that they turn to.  The love of friendship tends to be more genuine and stabile because unlike romantic and sexual love, it does not take physical attraction into account; it's based on personality more than anything.  Another thing that the lecturer said was that "when we name an enemy, we name something like us."  This reminded me of young women once again.  Most of the time, when young women do not like someone, it is often because they are similar and people do not want to be friends with someone who is too similar to them.  Ultimately, I thought that this lecture was very interesting and different.  The topic is a unique angle, that does relate to this course in many ways.    

Before Sunrise

As you’re watching the movie, Before Sunrise, you don’t even notice that the majority of the film is purely all conversation.  I don’t think that it’s completely fair to say that this film doesn’t incorporate some element of “love at first sight” because Celine does make a reference later in the film that she had seen Jesse and it was not accident that she sat next to him when the couple on the train was fighting.  However, I think “love though conversation” is different from the typical story of “love at first sight” because it’s more genuine.  Most people don’t experience “love at first sight” and it’s much more realistic to become more connected to someone through talking.

              One of the scenes that struck me the most throughout the whole film was when Jesse and Celine come across the young poet, and he reads the milkshake poem to them.  I found this poem peculiar because it makes me wonder if this young poet is used to seeing young adults who have just met each other fall in love?  On another note, this poem speaks a lot about new love.  In the last two lines, it says, “Don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?”  This relates to Jesse and Celine perfectly because they feel like they know everything about each other, but they truly don’t.  The same goes for love in general when it’s new.  Even though people think they are meant for each other and they know each other, the truth is nobody can know another person that they haven’t know for a while.

            I don’t think that Jesse and Celine will meet again in six months, or if they do, I don’t think that they will have the same connection that they had initially.  Jesse and Celine are complete polar opposites.  In the scene with the gypsy, Celine believes what she is told, while Jesse makes fun of the whole thing.  We don’t just see them disagree in this scene, but throughout the whole film.  Jesse even describes himself as a “thirteen year old boy” and Celine describes herself as an “old woman”.  As much as the two are entranced by each other, I just don’t think that they are compatible enough to sustain a long-term relationship.  Their time together is not pointless, though.  People care more about the future than the moment.  Whether they spent twenty-four years or twenty-four hours, the love they feel for each other is still important and real.  

Annie Hall

     In many ways the film criticizes the idea of the "romantic comedy".  When we think of what a romantic comedy is in our society, we usually picture a stereotypical set up: a young good looking, successful, strong guy meets a young attractive girl.  The two begin dating, but in the end, they both resolve any problem they have between them, and they live happily ever after together.  The entire movie in itself rejects the idea of the stereotypical romantic comedy simply because Alvey and Annie don't end up together in the end (even though we secretly wish they would because that's what we expect).  One of the major aspects that Woody Allen uses to criticize the romantic comedy in the film is sex.  At the very beginning of the film we see Alvey reject Allison’s sexual advances towards him.  This stems away from what would normally be a romantic comedy because usually the male and female character are supposed to love each other and engage in sex all the time, so especially to have the man turn down sex goes against the norm.  Another important scene is when Alvey wants to have sex with Annie, but she leaves her body because she does not want to have sex with him.  This criticizes the romantic comedy by showing how men are so stereotypical and don’t care about the emotions of a woman.  Annie even says in this scene to Alvey that “at least [he has her] body”. 

            Gender roles in this film are not black and white, as people typically perceive them in the romantic comedy where the man is strong, and the female is a damsel in distress type.  One the one hand, Allen supports gender roles and the notorious wine-drinking scene between Annie and Alvey when they first meet.  As we hear what each character is saying and we see what each character is really thinking, it plays into the stereotype.  The man is merely thinking about the girl naked and the girl is nervous and overthinks too much to try to impress the guy.  For the most part, though, Allen completely goes against gender roles.  One thing that is noticeable is that even the way Annie dresses from the beginning is extremely androgynous.  She often wears business shirts with their collars popped, and she usually ties a scarf around her neck, which looks very similar to a male tie.  The major scene we see this gender switch, however, is when Annie has to catch the lobsters because Alvey is too afraid to.  Ultimately in the movie, Woody Allen never clearly defines gender, as we would typically see it in a romantic comedy because in real life there are no specific gender roles among people.

            There can be many theories of love from the movie, but one thing that I concluded is that there will always be a complete disconnect between people.  There will always be dueling wants, desires, thoughts, and opinions between people, which is what makes love nearly impossible especially for Annie and Alvey.  We even see this with Alvey’s parents when they argue over the maid who stole from them.  They both have different opinions on how to deal with it, which just over dramatizes the disconnection between people.  Alvey closes the movie with the chicken and egg quote.  This relates back to the disconnection: one person will be one way, and the other person will think that they’re crazy for being that way.  We see this simply when Annie wants to move to Los Angeles and Alvey hates it.  I think ultimately, Allen’s theory is that two people can never truly come together simply because they will always be two separate people.   

Kissing Jessica Stein

I think that this movie has a lot to say about how love and desire does not know any boundaries.  Jessica goes on date after date with numerous different men and yet she never feels satisfied with any of them.  She finds herself in a rut when it comes to her love life, while her work life is going very well.  As a side note, I feel like this goes back to the whole concept that women cannot have it all in actuality.  If we want a good love life, we have to sacrifice our careers.  On the other hand if we want to flourish in our careers, we have to sacrifice our love lives.  While I do not think that this is the main point of the film, I do think that this theme is somewhat relevant.  Back to what I was saying, Jessica feels unsatisfied in her love life.  It is not until she surprising kisses a female named Helen that she feels a spark again even though she is not a lesbian.  Jessica is very taken aback by her connection with Helen because Helen has every mental quality that Jessica is looking for in a man.  Again, I think that this sudden connection relates back to the theme that we cannot choose who we love or desire.  Love and desire go beyond us, and play out as it sees fit.  There's no other explanation for why we can be attract to someone we thought we hated or someone who others think is very ugly, but we do not see that at all.  While I do believe this idea that we  have talked about in class about not being able to choose who we love and desire, I think ultimately what I have learned from this movie and in class, is that while we may not be able to choose who we love and desire, we do have control over it.  Jessica allows herself to be in a relationship with Helen, but never fully.  At the end of the day, no matter what her desire, Jessica is never comfortable being in a relationship with a woman and prefers a male companion.  So while desire has no limitations, we do mentally.

Love Song

Maybe I'm Amazed- Paul McCartney

Lyrics:
Baby Im amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I love you
Baby Im amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you

Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help to me understand

(lead solo)

Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help me understand

Baby Im amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I leave you
Baby Im amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when Im wrong
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you


I don't really know what it is about this song that "gets" to me.  I have always been a fan of it since I was a little girl.  I think it's because I adore the relationship that Paul and Linda McCartney had which makes the song more meaningful because it is so genuine and heartfelt.  This relates to love and desire because it emphasizes this idea of "the one".  We all have this ideal in our head that we are going to meet one person and instantly know they are our soulmate and the only person for us.  It's this image that we are truly only meant for one person.  The song also plays off of the desire to be needed by someone.  We all want to feel needed by another because it gives us security.  Maybe this why the song "gets" to me just in the same why I adore their relationship because I desire to meet "the one"/ "my soulmate" or whatever    someone calls it.  Whether we all have a soulmate or whether it's all fake, I'm still and optimist which is why this song appeals to me.  I think that because this song is genuine that it gives it's listeners hope that "true love" exists.  Another definition of love that I think this song brings up that we have not really discussed yet in class is this idea of a "mutual addiction".  As human beings, we want others and at the same time we want to be wanted.  We want someone to be as attached to us as we are to them.  Almost like, love is the only thing that matters in life.

Vargas Llosa's "The Bad Girl" - Week Two

The relationship between the Bad Girl and Ricardo continues to evolve throughout the rest of the book.  Ricardo sees the Bad Girl in Paris, then he sees her in London.  When he sees her in London, she is married to a very rich Englishman whom she says she loves.  Later in the novel, Ricardo meets the Bad Girl again when she is the mistress for an extremely wealthy Asian man.  Each time that Ricardo meets the Bad Girl, it is like he is meeting someone else because she is never the same person twice, and she also pretends not to know him.  I think this plays a lot into desire.  We think that we want one thing, but in actuality we do not. Ricardo thinks that he loves the Bad Girl and that he wants to be with her, but this is not really the case.  Ricardo desires the Bad Girl because she is his complete foil and because of the fact that he cannot have her.  Ricardo is very boring and unadventurous, whereas, the Bad Girl is completely spontaneous and always on the move.  On the one hand, Ricardo stays attracted to the Bad Girl because she is everything that he would like to be.  He moves to Paris in the hopes of creating a new and exciting life, but this falls shorts when he becomes a translator.  However; the Bad Girl merely creates excitement just by existing.  Another reason why Ricardo stays attracted to the Bad Girl throughout the book even though she clearly takes advantage of him is because he desires excitement not the Bad Girl.  Every time Ricardo meets the Bad Girl, she is someone new and different.  This keeps Ricardo on his feet and adds passion to his life.  Ricardo lives the same mundane life every day changing nothing in his routine.  But thinking about the next encounter with the Bad Girl and then especially when he does see her again, gives him the stimulation he needs in his life.  This is why what he thinks he desire is The Bad girl, but what he really desires is the effects she brings.  I wonder if Ricardo actually tamed the Bad Girl and had a serious relationship with her, if he would actually be fulfilled in his life?  Personally, I do not think that he would be.  I think that he would become bored and find the next exciting girl who comes along because he does not desire love or a relationship, but rather passion and excitement.  

Vargas Llosa's "The Bad Girl" - Week One

Mario Llosa's book, The Bad Girl, directly relates to what we have been discussing in class since it was inspired by the book we are reading, Madame Bovary.  Llosa takes the classic novel, Madame Bovary, and updates it to fit the new upcoming culture of the "swinging sixties" and the seventies.  One quote that stuck out to me in the very beginning of the book is when Llosa writes "Lily's face focused with the same fervor she brought to taking communion at twelve o' click Mass at the Parque Central church, her gaze fixed on the incandescent ball, waiting for the moment when the sea swallowed up the last beam to formulate the wish that the great star, Or God, would grant" (Llosa 7).  Lily directly relates to Emma.  Lily is a daydreamer who constantly fantasizes about this ideal image she has.  In class we have been discussing about Emma's behaviors as well.  Emma is cut from the same cloth as Lily.  Emma desires to have a better life so she consumes herself in these fantasies that nobody else understands.  I think that this quote is important to have at the very beginning of the novel because it instantly shows us who Lily is.  As the reader, we understand that Lily is someone who is searching for a greater life than what she has, and ultimately, we cannot be mad at her just like we cannot be mad at Emma.  Both of their biggest faults is that they are daydreamers.  Neither of them are content with the life they are living, so they do something about that.  This relates to the theme in class that women should not have to merely accept the boring life they are given.  Women should be allowed to embrace their fantasies.  This is why this quote is perfect to set the character up of Lily.  Another quote that I found interesting is when she leaves Ricardo.  Ricardo says that "She went to Switzerland to make a deposit and took everything, everything, and ruined me.  Chapeau, un coup de maitre! She knew I couldn't denounce her without accusing myself, without ruining my reputation and my position.  She knew if I denounced her I'd be the first one injured, for keeping secret accounts, for evading taxes.  Do you understand how well planned it was?  Can you believe she could be so cruel toward someone who gave her only love and devotion" (LLosa 63).  This takes place immediately after the "bad girl" leaves Ricardo and takes all of his money.  What sticks out to me most in this quote is the very last sentence when Llosa writes "Can you believe she could be so cruel toward someone who gave her only love and devotion?".  This goes back to the whole idea that she needs to do whatever she can to fulfill her fantasies.  Charles gave Emma a fairly comfortable life, but this still did not stop her from cheating on him.  At the end of the day,  both women were not satisfied in their boring relationships.  Thus, should they be punished for that?  No, I do not think so.  Both women do whatever they can to attain their ideal image of life, and there is nothing wrong with this.