Love Song

Maybe I'm Amazed- Paul McCartney

Lyrics:
Baby Im amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I love you
Baby Im amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you

Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help to me understand

(lead solo)

Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help me understand

Baby Im amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I leave you
Baby Im amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when Im wrong
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you


I don't really know what it is about this song that "gets" to me.  I have always been a fan of it since I was a little girl.  I think it's because I adore the relationship that Paul and Linda McCartney had which makes the song more meaningful because it is so genuine and heartfelt.  This relates to love and desire because it emphasizes this idea of "the one".  We all have this ideal in our head that we are going to meet one person and instantly know they are our soulmate and the only person for us.  It's this image that we are truly only meant for one person.  The song also plays off of the desire to be needed by someone.  We all want to feel needed by another because it gives us security.  Maybe this why the song "gets" to me just in the same why I adore their relationship because I desire to meet "the one"/ "my soulmate" or whatever    someone calls it.  Whether we all have a soulmate or whether it's all fake, I'm still and optimist which is why this song appeals to me.  I think that because this song is genuine that it gives it's listeners hope that "true love" exists.  Another definition of love that I think this song brings up that we have not really discussed yet in class is this idea of a "mutual addiction".  As human beings, we want others and at the same time we want to be wanted.  We want someone to be as attached to us as we are to them.  Almost like, love is the only thing that matters in life.

Vargas Llosa's "The Bad Girl" - Week Two

The relationship between the Bad Girl and Ricardo continues to evolve throughout the rest of the book.  Ricardo sees the Bad Girl in Paris, then he sees her in London.  When he sees her in London, she is married to a very rich Englishman whom she says she loves.  Later in the novel, Ricardo meets the Bad Girl again when she is the mistress for an extremely wealthy Asian man.  Each time that Ricardo meets the Bad Girl, it is like he is meeting someone else because she is never the same person twice, and she also pretends not to know him.  I think this plays a lot into desire.  We think that we want one thing, but in actuality we do not. Ricardo thinks that he loves the Bad Girl and that he wants to be with her, but this is not really the case.  Ricardo desires the Bad Girl because she is his complete foil and because of the fact that he cannot have her.  Ricardo is very boring and unadventurous, whereas, the Bad Girl is completely spontaneous and always on the move.  On the one hand, Ricardo stays attracted to the Bad Girl because she is everything that he would like to be.  He moves to Paris in the hopes of creating a new and exciting life, but this falls shorts when he becomes a translator.  However; the Bad Girl merely creates excitement just by existing.  Another reason why Ricardo stays attracted to the Bad Girl throughout the book even though she clearly takes advantage of him is because he desires excitement not the Bad Girl.  Every time Ricardo meets the Bad Girl, she is someone new and different.  This keeps Ricardo on his feet and adds passion to his life.  Ricardo lives the same mundane life every day changing nothing in his routine.  But thinking about the next encounter with the Bad Girl and then especially when he does see her again, gives him the stimulation he needs in his life.  This is why what he thinks he desire is The Bad girl, but what he really desires is the effects she brings.  I wonder if Ricardo actually tamed the Bad Girl and had a serious relationship with her, if he would actually be fulfilled in his life?  Personally, I do not think that he would be.  I think that he would become bored and find the next exciting girl who comes along because he does not desire love or a relationship, but rather passion and excitement.  

Vargas Llosa's "The Bad Girl" - Week One

Mario Llosa's book, The Bad Girl, directly relates to what we have been discussing in class since it was inspired by the book we are reading, Madame Bovary.  Llosa takes the classic novel, Madame Bovary, and updates it to fit the new upcoming culture of the "swinging sixties" and the seventies.  One quote that stuck out to me in the very beginning of the book is when Llosa writes "Lily's face focused with the same fervor she brought to taking communion at twelve o' click Mass at the Parque Central church, her gaze fixed on the incandescent ball, waiting for the moment when the sea swallowed up the last beam to formulate the wish that the great star, Or God, would grant" (Llosa 7).  Lily directly relates to Emma.  Lily is a daydreamer who constantly fantasizes about this ideal image she has.  In class we have been discussing about Emma's behaviors as well.  Emma is cut from the same cloth as Lily.  Emma desires to have a better life so she consumes herself in these fantasies that nobody else understands.  I think that this quote is important to have at the very beginning of the novel because it instantly shows us who Lily is.  As the reader, we understand that Lily is someone who is searching for a greater life than what she has, and ultimately, we cannot be mad at her just like we cannot be mad at Emma.  Both of their biggest faults is that they are daydreamers.  Neither of them are content with the life they are living, so they do something about that.  This relates to the theme in class that women should not have to merely accept the boring life they are given.  Women should be allowed to embrace their fantasies.  This is why this quote is perfect to set the character up of Lily.  Another quote that I found interesting is when she leaves Ricardo.  Ricardo says that "She went to Switzerland to make a deposit and took everything, everything, and ruined me.  Chapeau, un coup de maitre! She knew I couldn't denounce her without accusing myself, without ruining my reputation and my position.  She knew if I denounced her I'd be the first one injured, for keeping secret accounts, for evading taxes.  Do you understand how well planned it was?  Can you believe she could be so cruel toward someone who gave her only love and devotion" (LLosa 63).  This takes place immediately after the "bad girl" leaves Ricardo and takes all of his money.  What sticks out to me most in this quote is the very last sentence when Llosa writes "Can you believe she could be so cruel toward someone who gave her only love and devotion?".  This goes back to the whole idea that she needs to do whatever she can to fulfill her fantasies.  Charles gave Emma a fairly comfortable life, but this still did not stop her from cheating on him.  At the end of the day,  both women were not satisfied in their boring relationships.  Thus, should they be punished for that?  No, I do not think so.  Both women do whatever they can to attain their ideal image of life, and there is nothing wrong with this.  

Soderbergh's "Solaris" and Guadgnino's "I Am Love"

In "Solaris", love plays a major role in the plot.  Chris, who is a psychologist,  is taken to a space station which orbits the planet Solaris.  Chris does not know why he is being taken there, but once he is there, he realizes that most of the people on the space station have either died or disappeared.  Shortly after Chris arrives, he dreams about his dead wife, Rheya, and then a replica appears.  At first, he sends the replica away, but when she appears again, he does everything he can to keep her. The other astronauts say that replicas of their lovers have appeared too.  It is almost as if the planet Solaris understands that love can influence others more than anything.  I also find it interesting that the astronauts would hire a psychologist to help them instead of a scientist.  I think it shows that the problems from the planet are not scientific, but rather emotional.  Love cannot really be understood scientifically because it plays with your heart and your head.  We have been learning in class that love is a force that cannot be stopped.  Therefore, by the planet using love as their weapon, they are using the most dangerous weapon of them all.  If one is constantly bombarded by love, one can go crazy with grief.  Desire also plays a role because Chris cannot let go of Rheya's replica because he remembers the times he used to have with her, but this is actually hurting his chances to go back to earth because it weighs down the space station.  This shows how loves literally is weighing Chris down.  Chris is so consumed by his desire for Rheya, even though he knows it is just a replica of her, that he cannot see straight.  WE also learned in class that sometimes one can become blinded to reality because they are so consumed in love and desire.  This occurs with Chris because he is so attached to Rheya's replica that he willingly opts out of his opportunity to go back to Earth when he can.  Ultimately, the planet Solaris understands that people cannot resist their urges to obtain their desires.  In the movie is states that "there are no answers, only choices".  This is a universal theme in love and desire.  There is always a double edged sword when it comes to love and desire.  If we don't fulfill our desires, we are starving ourselves, but if we do fulfill them, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and consequences.  Therefore, the planet Solaris sets up this tricky question that in reality we have to choose everyday: do we engulf ourselves in  our love and desires or do we do what is best for us?

Desire is a key factor in "I am Love".  We see desire in the forms of the seven deadly sins: gluttony, greed, lust, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride.  Gluttony appears with the special Russian soup, "uhka".  Both Edoardo Jr. and Emma simply cannot get enough of this soup.  Therefore, they constantly indulge on it, even though the other family members do not like it, because they are both consumed by their desire of taste.  Greed plays a major role with most of the family especially Tancredi.  Tancredi desires to be rich so badly that he will basically do anything to inherit his father's business even naming his son after his father.  Once he does inherit the business, instead of continuing it, he immediately seeks out buyers for it.  Tancredi has no sense of the value of handwork or money, he merely is consumed with his greed.  Lust plays a role with Emma because this is what ultimately leads her to having an affair with Antonio, but this also occurs with her daughter, Elisabetta.  Emma finds out that Elisabetta is a lesbian and cannot control her sexual urges for sex with other women.  Elisabetta lets herself become engulfed in the need for sex without any control. Sloth plays another part with Tancredi again because he is constantly lazy.  He does not understand the concept of working hard to earn money, he simply wants it handed to him.  Wrath appears in the story when Edoardo Jr. becomes so upset about finding out his mother has an affair that he storm away from the table.  Because Edoardo Jr. is so consumed by his anger, this is what leads to his death because he cannot think rationally.  Envy plays a role because Tancredi is extremely jealous of the wealth and power his father has.  Tancredi wants to be the patriarch, but he cannot because Edoardo Sr. is.  The very last deadly sin is pride which is seen a lot with Edoardo Sr.  Edoardo Sr. is so wrapped up in the fact that he is the patriarch of the family and that he is rich that he becomes so arrogant of his role in the family rather than being humbled by it.  Therefore, desire does play a major role in the plot, but I also wanted to point out other things that relate to the class.  For one, Emma in the movie resembles Madame Bovary very well.  Both women are not content with their boring lives as housewives, thus they seek out passion by having affairs with other men.  This brings up the universal question: should women sacrifice their happiness to live up to society's standards?  Personally, I do not think women should be forced to do this.  Both Emma's were trapped in unhappy, boring marriages, and I do not think that they did anything wrong by fulfilling their love and desires with someone else.

Madame Bovary Week 2

10. Why does she decide to commit suicide by poisoning?

11. Why is Emma's death so prolonged?

I think why Emma really committed suicide is because she is a dreamer.  Emma engages herself in literature that holds these ideas of a perfect life.  So when she finally realizes that life will never be ideal as she hopes it will be, she feels hopeless.  This is why Emma has relationships with so many other men because she wants this fairytale life that she has read about.  Therefore, Emma feels completely trapped in her mundane life and she feels as if she has no other hope in the slightest at achieving her ideal image.  In which case, this is what really leads to her suicide: her failed attempts of having her ideal life.  This dream aspect of Emma also plays a role in why her death is prolonged.  Emma expects not only life to be perfect, but she also expects her death to be glorious as well.  One of the main reasons why Emma chooses the poison over other means of killing herself is because she expects to drink the poison and have a quick, dramatic death.  What Emma failed to realize is that arson will slowly kill the body not quickly.  Thus, her death reflects her life.  Emma thinks her life will be glorious, but when it is not, she feels like she has to kill herself.  Her slow death represents how Emma's ideal images will never match up with reality. 

Madame Bovary Week One

 3. Why does Emma find the ball at La Vaubyésssard so important? Notice the way others treat her – does she belong to this society? Why or why not?

From a very early age, Emma becomes obsessed with social status.  This could be a lot to do with the fact that she never really received attention in her childhood and so she seeks attention through society as an adult.  Either way, Emma is so consumed by this ball because for her this will represent her social status and then she will be accepted as an important figure in her community.  The main problem with this is that Emma clearly does not belong to this higher society and they make note of this by treating her like a child or fool.  Emma does not belong to this society simply because she is just that: a child.  She is extremely naive and she does not understand the responsibility of being a part of this society.  Emma has an idealized image of this society as being beautiful and having lots of glamorous balls which is why she will never belong because she does not see beyond that.   

 5. Discuss Emma’s pregnancy. Who in truth “carries” the pregnancy? Emma? Why or why not? What does the novel say about maternity?

Emma's pregnancy is really just a tactic for Emma to be pampered and have all of the attention on her for the time being.  The person who really "carried" the pregnancy is the midwife.  It was very common during this time period for the mother to carry the baby and give birth to the child, then once the baby was born, they would take a period of time to rest while a midwife cared for the newborn infant.  Therefore, Emma really did not do anything during her pregnancy, it was those around her who really took care of the pregnancy.  What this says about maternity is that it really does not exist at least not during this time period.  Emma's mother was not close to Emma, and in return, Emma is not very close with her daughter.  Ultimately, maternity means giving birth to the child and that is it.  The actual cannot be bothered with little tasks such as changing the baby because it is important for them to regain their strength so they can stay beautiful.  Therefore, maternity is very false at this time especially with Emma. 

Celestina Week 2

2)  Calisto gives his long soliloquy in Act 14.  This speech comes right after he and Malibea consummate their relationship.  From the very moment that Calisto sees Maliebea in the garden, he is obsessed with her.  There is not a moment in the text when Calisto does not profess his undying love for Malibea and how much he wants to have sex with her.  For Calisto, he thinks that having sex with Malibea is what he wants and what will make his relationship with her even better.  However when Calisto finnaly gets what he wants (or what he thinks he wants), he realizes that consummating his relationship with Malibea really did not give him the pleasure he thought it would.  Thus, the major theme of the speech is desire, and the challenges that one faces because of desire.  Calisto lets this desire for Malibea consume him so much that he confuses his desire for her with happiness.  Calisto believes that if he has sex with Malibea that he will be happy, but it is actually the opposite.  Therefore, desire, by nature, is meant to trick people.  Calisto thinks that he desires Malibea when in actuality, he desires the chase for Malibea    

4)  When Calisto first meets Malibea, it is in the middle of the night in complete darkness.  Thus, the only light Calisto has to see Malibea is from the moon and the stars.  Right off the bat, Calisto is given a false interpretation of Malibea.  Having the only light out as the moon and the stars creates a romantic mood for the initial meeting between Calisto and Malibea.  If Calisto had first met Malibea in a neutral atmosphere, he may not have been swayed by a biased atmosphere.  Also, Calisto has a wrong impression of Malibea because he is, indeed, not actually seeing her.  When Celestina has the dinner at the house, the women wonder what is wrong with Calisto.  Calisto does not see Malibea's features because they are tainted by the darkness.  In actuality, the women describe Malibea as being so ugly that a pole could look better in a dress than her.  Thus, this shows how desire completely sways the mind.  Calisto's desire for Malibea consumes him so much that he is blind to who she really is figuratively just like he is blind to her literally in their initial meeting.